Normally, a birthday would involve inviting my two sisters and their children, my parents, a few neighbours and maybe a friend or two round for a tea party. A tea party for me (being English) is about making many cakes of different sizes and variations, cutting up some fruit and vegetables and breadsticks. We play a few games with the children and make a lot of noise. That's how we've celebrated our children's birthdays for the past seven years.
While we've been here, we've had visitors for a birthday, which has made me not notice what it would be like if we didn't have visitors. It is my son's third birthday this Wednesday and we don't have any visitors. I don't know who to ask. I feel awkward asking people I only know to say 'hello' to at school. Should I ask my neighbours? I don't really know them very well either. My instincts are to go crazy baking many cakes and buying balloons. But who for? It feels kind of fake as I don't really count anyone as my son's 'friend' yet.
So this year, we're not having a tea party. We will go out to eat as a family and maybe go on a day trip at the weekend instead. It does feel kind of weird.
Monday 9 February 2015
Tuesday 23 December 2014
Amsterdam a City?
One of the great things about living in Amsterdam is that we can access the rest of Europe.
We just got back from a few days in Berlin. As it was a few days before Christmas, the shops were very busy. I couldn't help but to compare the city to Amsterdam. We stumbled across shopping mall after shopping mall, so many huge department stores whose shelves burst with choice. For example, one department store had a floor dedicated to confectionery, where you could buy any brand of chocolate you wanted, from all over the World.
We found a very cool bar, on top of a highrise building, 25 Hours Berlin. A must if you ever find yourself in Berlin. The bar is part of a concept hotel and over looks the zoo, so in the summer you can see the animals.
People seemed more individual, cooler fashion, wearing heels, ladies wearing makeup, stylish looking teenagers. And so many cars. It was buzzing. As I originate from London, which is very similar in many respects, I realised how much I missed the buzz, the people watching, the vibrance.
As we stepped off the train in Amsterdam at 11.30pm, the man with his bike queing for the lift smiled at us. We saw one car on our journey home. There were no people on the streets. Amsterdam closes down at about 9pm and it is so quiet! It is a city in terms of world class culture with many museums and theatres, but I'm afraid it doesn't seem very cool. The quirky, individual fashion which you see on the streets of London or Berlin just isn't there. Yes, you can buy weed and there are groups of people wandering around on stag and hen nights off their faces at the weekend, and I'm sure there is a big party scene that I'm too old to be a part of, but you don't get the feeling that you're watching the next big thing happening. It seems a little sleepy, like an eccentric uncle in a family.
We just got back from a few days in Berlin. As it was a few days before Christmas, the shops were very busy. I couldn't help but to compare the city to Amsterdam. We stumbled across shopping mall after shopping mall, so many huge department stores whose shelves burst with choice. For example, one department store had a floor dedicated to confectionery, where you could buy any brand of chocolate you wanted, from all over the World.
A German soldier waving the German flag in front of parts of the Berlin wall.
We found a very cool bar, on top of a highrise building, 25 Hours Berlin. A must if you ever find yourself in Berlin. The bar is part of a concept hotel and over looks the zoo, so in the summer you can see the animals.
People seemed more individual, cooler fashion, wearing heels, ladies wearing makeup, stylish looking teenagers. And so many cars. It was buzzing. As I originate from London, which is very similar in many respects, I realised how much I missed the buzz, the people watching, the vibrance.
As we stepped off the train in Amsterdam at 11.30pm, the man with his bike queing for the lift smiled at us. We saw one car on our journey home. There were no people on the streets. Amsterdam closes down at about 9pm and it is so quiet! It is a city in terms of world class culture with many museums and theatres, but I'm afraid it doesn't seem very cool. The quirky, individual fashion which you see on the streets of London or Berlin just isn't there. Yes, you can buy weed and there are groups of people wandering around on stag and hen nights off their faces at the weekend, and I'm sure there is a big party scene that I'm too old to be a part of, but you don't get the feeling that you're watching the next big thing happening. It seems a little sleepy, like an eccentric uncle in a family.
Thursday 13 November 2014
Sint Maartens v's Halloween
As Sint Maarten and Halloween have merged into one long sweet/candy eating festival in our house, I have outlined the differences between the two autumn festivals for my children, so they can manage their expectations and prepare accordingly.
Halloween is a festival involving all things spooky, and centres 'around the theme of using "humor and ridicule to confront the power of death'.
Sint Maarten's remembers a saint who shared his cloak with a beggar. The day is celebrated on the evening of 11th November, in some parts of the Netherlands, where he is known as Sint-Maarten. As soon it gets dark or at 6.15pm on our street, children up to the age of 11 or 12 (primary school age) go door to door with handmade lanterns singing and hoping to receive sweets/candy in return.
Halloween is a festival involving all things spooky, and centres 'around the theme of using "humor and ridicule to confront the power of death'.
Sint Maarten's remembers a saint who shared his cloak with a beggar. The day is celebrated on the evening of 11th November, in some parts of the Netherlands, where he is known as Sint-Maarten. As soon it gets dark or at 6.15pm on our street, children up to the age of 11 or 12 (primary school age) go door to door with handmade lanterns singing and hoping to receive sweets/candy in return.
Here are the main differences between the two festivals.
Halloween takes place on 31st October and Sint Maartens on 11th November, the date Saint Maarten died.
1. Dressing up
Dressing up in scary witch, ghost, vampire, mummy costumes is for Halloween. You do not get dressed up for Sint Maartens.
2. Lanterns
You make lanterns and then either make a stick with a light attached or buy a stick with a light attached. On Halloween you don't need lanterns.
 |
| Sint Maartens |
3. Pumpkins
You carve out pumpkins on Halloween and make faces in them or decorative pictures. There are no Pumpkins involved in Sint Maartens.
4. Singing Songs
You sing lots of songs for Sint Maartens. There are no songs involved in Halloween.
5. Trick or Treating
On Halloween, when you knock or ring the bell of a house, you ask the person who answers the door, 'Trick or Treat?'. Sadly, the days where homeowners squirt silly spray or throw eggs et you are gone, and people will simply smile and give you a lot of sweets. During Sint n, you don't say 'Trick or Treat' when someone opens the door, you sing a song.
6. The Number of Sweets you Receive
When you are offered sweets for Halloween, you can take as many as you feel appropriate. For Sint Maarten's, you will be expected to choose one sweet. In both cases, it's very important to express your gratitude for the generosity of the person giving you sweets. It is not appropriate to say, 'can I have more than one sweet'.
7. When?
Halloween takes place on 31st October and Sint Maartens on 11th November, the date Saint Maarten died.
And most importantly, whichever you end up doing, or even if your children were lucky enough to celebrate both Halloween and Sint Martins, have fun and remember to brush your teeth.
Monday 27 October 2014
Mummy, I can't hear
When my son turned 3, he developed problems with his hearing. This in itself is unremarkable. It is very common for young boys to have problems with their hearing. Many of my son's friends at the time were submitted to hospital after being diagnosed with glue ear and had gromits inserted into their ears to make them hear better.
As we lived in London in UK at the time, we took 'A' to our local GP. We were sent to see a consultant who gave me steroids to squirt into his nose. I refused to use the steriods after researching into their side affects and realising that they would not solve the problem. At the next 6 monthly hearing check, I informed the hearing test operator that I would not be giving my son steroids and she wrote something in my son's notes. We returned about 4 times to have my son's ears checked. He became bored by the tests and irritated by the tightness of the special headphones he had to wear. We were told his hearing was borderline and I decided that I would prefer not to have an operation as the thought of having my son subjected to a general anesthetic unless it was absolutely necessary terrified me. I was told, 'well, if you're not willing to authorise an operation, there's nothing we can do except keep testing his ears'.
We moved to Amsterdam in October 2013. Again, my son had his ears checked as part of a general assessment. We were told he had a problem with his hearing. We went to a very intense hearing test, where my son was placed in a sound proof capsule and did a series of tests. We were told that his hearing was perfect and he would not need an operation. 6 months later, my son was still not speaking clearly and I didn't think that he could hear me when I called him. This was very worrying as he is learning to read, write and speak in Dutch. We went back to our local GP for a reassessment. This time, our local GP looked in my son's ears. 'There's something in his right ear', he said.
This is what he found.
We moved to Amsterdam in October 2013. Again, my son had his ears checked as part of a general assessment. We were told he had a problem with his hearing. We went to a very intense hearing test, where my son was placed in a sound proof capsule and did a series of tests. We were told that his hearing was perfect and he would not need an operation. 6 months later, my son was still not speaking clearly and I didn't think that he could hear me when I called him. This was very worrying as he is learning to read, write and speak in Dutch. We went back to our local GP for a reassessment. This time, our local GP looked in my son's ears. 'There's something in his right ear', he said.
This is what he found.
My now 6 year old son recalled when he was in nursery, (he must have been about 3 years old), finding the room very noisy. He tried putting his fingers in his ears to block out the noise, but it didn't work, so he stuffed a piece of paper in his ear. Ever since then, he couldn't hear very well. He just turned 6 years old, so he has been walking around with a piece of paper stuck in his ear for THREE YEARS!!! Shame on all those ear specialists who didn't notice that there was an obstruction in his ear. We are very grateful to the AMAZING doctor who checked his ears properly and removed the piece of paper. My son is like a different child.
Tuesday 21 October 2014
Being an Immigrant
Having been English and lived in England for most of my life, I've not put much thought into how it feels to be an immigrant. Or to be labelled an immigrant. As we made a decision to send our children to a Dutch school, we are now often seen as immigrants. Our children need extra support with learning the Dutch language.
We have been asked by our children's school to pay over EUR2,300 annually for each child to contribute to their learning Dutch. I was deeply shocked by this. In England, I had seen how a girl was embraced by my daughters school when she arrived not speaking a word of English. She was given a class buddy and practically her own teaching assistant. She was very much in demand as many of the children wanted playdates with her. My children's experience in the Netherlands has been very different. After extensive research I found that not only was the school's decision to invoice us for Dutch lessons for our children contravening a European directive, it was also the only school in the Netherlands charging newcomers for learning Dutch.
In the Netherlands, there are two main types of buitenlanders, 'foreigners', or 'outsiders'. Immigrants and expats. The expats generally send their children to international schools and so aren't seen as too much of a burden on society, until they start criticising Dutch traditions (see zwarte Pete). The immigrants are nicely ring fenced by the area that they live in. There are specific areas where the majority of immigrants live and schools called 'zwarte scholen', 'black schools' where their children can go to. The school application process in Amsterdam is a lottery process, where the school for each child is allocated by postcode, enabling the children of immigrants to attend zwarte scholen and the children of non-immigrants to attend 'witte scholen' (white schools).
Education, segregation and deprivation are inextricably linked. The schools in large cities are often segregated: white children go to white schools, black children go to black schools. Often I hear that 'Amsterdam is so international' from Dutch people. Implying that there are a lot of non-Dutch people living in Amsterdam.
Needless to say, a segregation in education will lead a lack of diversity in the upper echelons of Dutch society. While there is no apparent class structure in the Netherlands, but there is an underlying division of 'them', the immigrants, and 'us', the native Dutch. There is no private school system, even the royal family send their children to the local state school. At 11 or 12 years old, children take an exam which defines whether or not they will attend university at 18 years. There is some movement and flexibility in the system and children who don't attend a gymnasium can redo a year and go to university a bit later. However, what chance do the children from a black school have to go to university? What percentage of these children pass the exam to attend a gymnasium? Research from 2011 by the Kohnstamm Institute illustrated that only the 'black' children with educated parents do better in school than the 'white' children with the least educated parents.
We have been asked by our children's school to pay over EUR2,300 annually for each child to contribute to their learning Dutch. I was deeply shocked by this. In England, I had seen how a girl was embraced by my daughters school when she arrived not speaking a word of English. She was given a class buddy and practically her own teaching assistant. She was very much in demand as many of the children wanted playdates with her. My children's experience in the Netherlands has been very different. After extensive research I found that not only was the school's decision to invoice us for Dutch lessons for our children contravening a European directive, it was also the only school in the Netherlands charging newcomers for learning Dutch.
In the Netherlands, there are two main types of buitenlanders, 'foreigners', or 'outsiders'. Immigrants and expats. The expats generally send their children to international schools and so aren't seen as too much of a burden on society, until they start criticising Dutch traditions (see zwarte Pete). The immigrants are nicely ring fenced by the area that they live in. There are specific areas where the majority of immigrants live and schools called 'zwarte scholen', 'black schools' where their children can go to. The school application process in Amsterdam is a lottery process, where the school for each child is allocated by postcode, enabling the children of immigrants to attend zwarte scholen and the children of non-immigrants to attend 'witte scholen' (white schools).
Education, segregation and deprivation are inextricably linked. The schools in large cities are often segregated: white children go to white schools, black children go to black schools. Often I hear that 'Amsterdam is so international' from Dutch people. Implying that there are a lot of non-Dutch people living in Amsterdam.
Needless to say, a segregation in education will lead a lack of diversity in the upper echelons of Dutch society. While there is no apparent class structure in the Netherlands, but there is an underlying division of 'them', the immigrants, and 'us', the native Dutch. There is no private school system, even the royal family send their children to the local state school. At 11 or 12 years old, children take an exam which defines whether or not they will attend university at 18 years. There is some movement and flexibility in the system and children who don't attend a gymnasium can redo a year and go to university a bit later. However, what chance do the children from a black school have to go to university? What percentage of these children pass the exam to attend a gymnasium? Research from 2011 by the Kohnstamm Institute illustrated that only the 'black' children with educated parents do better in school than the 'white' children with the least educated parents.
In more bouyant times, companies would pay for the schooling of their staff's children, but this benefit has been cut, meaning that many families cannot afford the EUR8,000 - EUR15,000 annual school fees of the international schools. The percentages of immigrant children are increasing and as more 'expats' decide to send their children to Dutch schools there does not look to be any immediate solution. We remain in discussion with our childrens' school about the Dutch language fees.
Ref.
Kohnstamm Institute
Tuesday 26 August 2014
How to Star in House Hunters International
My family have just spent the last four days being filmed for House Hunters International ("HHI"). The episode should be aired in the US sometime towards the end of 2014.
House Hunters International are always searching for new families, singles or couples who are relocating from one country to another. Not only will you have professional footage of your relocation experience, you'll also have your travel costs to your home country paid.
There are a few ways you can star in your own episode of House Hunters International, but you must have recently moved to another country to appear on HHI.
House Hunters International are always searching for new families, singles or couples who are relocating from one country to another. Not only will you have professional footage of your relocation experience, you'll also have your travel costs to your home country paid.
There are a few ways you can star in your own episode of House Hunters International, but you must have recently moved to another country to appear on HHI.
- Write a blog. The researchers for HHI will find you if you have an interesting story to tell.
- Contact HHI directly with a home movie of your relocation story.
What to Expect
It was hard work and not without drama.
Long Days
Our days were 12 hours long. We were cold. We had to pretty much wear the same clothes for 4 days. We had to repeat ourselves over and over again.
The filming takes place AFTER you have moved to a new country. We returned to UK to film our back story. This was fun to do. For us it meant that our children put their old British school uniform back on and I had to rustle up a class of baby yoga mums and babies. It was only one day of filming and it was a relaxed fun day.
The filming in our new country was harder. We were filmed looking around three different properties, including the one we currently rent. This involved hiring a removal company to take out our belongings so it looked like we didn't live there. Then, when filming was over, we put all our belongings back. Once everything was back in place, we had to continue filming until 8.30pm and then be ready to go at 8am the following day. It really was a hard pace to keep up with.
Pushed to the Edge
My least favourite part of the filming was when I was filmed riding a bike. I love cycling, but I was asked to cycle over a bridge in Amsterdam (equivalent to a steep hill) with 2 children in the bakfiets. The area was busy, full of tourists, other cyclists, cars and motorbikes. It was hard work as I was asked to go up and down this bridge three or four times.
My husband and I were then asked to ride some hire bikes. I flatly refused as the bike had a back pedal brake on, which I've never cycled before. I was so tired, the last thing I wanted to do was ride this dodgy looking bike. By this point, it was 1pm, we'd been going since 8am with no food. Eventually, the director persuaded me to cycle this hired back-pedal-brake bike, which worked fine on a flat road.
We were asked cycle a loop, over one bridge, along a road and then back across another bridge. I cycled down a bridge and the bike wouldn't stop. There was a car in front of me and I was heading straight for it and there was nothing I could do about it. The director ran out in front of my bike and managed to stop it. I was completely terrified. There was a camera clipped onto the front of my bike, so I believe my horror stricken face would have been captured. So embarrassed, but relieved that I didn't come to any harm.
Still Interested in being on HHI?
I would say, 'go for it'. It's a lot of fun and a once in a life time experience.
Tuesday 19 August 2014
The Perfect School
I'm questioning the school calendar.
I know that children have needs which are carefully thought out and have resulted in the way schools are today. However, children's needs must be paid for. Children need clothes food, after school activities (swimming lessons, sport) and toys. How can they be paid for when there are approximately 15 weeks of school holiday's each year and when most schools are finished with by 3.30pm?
How can both parents afford to work?
You are lucky if you have a relative who can help out with the childcare. Parents must figure out some wrap around childcare solution for the days the children are at school and then there are the school holidays to consider. Most employees receive about 23 days of annual leave each year. Which is just over 4 weeks holiday. But there are about 15 weeks school holidays to account for. Even if both partners worked and didn't spend their annual leave at the same time, there are still 7 weeks to worry about. The primary school care system prevents both parents from working.
Yesterday I heard about an amazing new school. It is open from 7.30am - 6pm except for two weeks of the year. Children can take holidays when they want, meaning parents don't have to pay a premium for going away during the summer holidays. Here is the schedule. I honestly think this must be the way forward for primary schools. There needs to be a wrap around onsite after school care solution and affordable options for childcare for the school holidays.
I know that children have needs which are carefully thought out and have resulted in the way schools are today. However, children's needs must be paid for. Children need clothes food, after school activities (swimming lessons, sport) and toys. How can they be paid for when there are approximately 15 weeks of school holiday's each year and when most schools are finished with by 3.30pm?
How can both parents afford to work?
You are lucky if you have a relative who can help out with the childcare. Parents must figure out some wrap around childcare solution for the days the children are at school and then there are the school holidays to consider. Most employees receive about 23 days of annual leave each year. Which is just over 4 weeks holiday. But there are about 15 weeks school holidays to account for. Even if both partners worked and didn't spend their annual leave at the same time, there are still 7 weeks to worry about. The primary school care system prevents both parents from working.
Yesterday I heard about an amazing new school. It is open from 7.30am - 6pm except for two weeks of the year. Children can take holidays when they want, meaning parents don't have to pay a premium for going away during the summer holidays. Here is the schedule. I honestly think this must be the way forward for primary schools. There needs to be a wrap around onsite after school care solution and affordable options for childcare for the school holidays.
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